A Day of Remembrance

Today, November 11^th, is the day we remember the men and women who went before us and fought to give us and guard our freedom. And for their sacrifice I am so thankful.

Nov. 11 is also a special anniversary for me for a completely different reason. It became a very special day to Daniel, to the point where he treated it nearly as important as our wedding anniversary. He would commemorate the day by giving me a handmade card and flowers. Even last year while in the hospital, he arranged a bouquet and a card to surprise me with when I visited him that evening.

So, you ask, why was the day so special?

It goes back to 1998. I was fifteen. It was another Wednesday just like today. Just like every other Wednesday evening, I attended Youth Group at church. Having “graduated” to Sr. High a few months earlier, a few friends and I decided to go visit the Jr. High room across the church and say hi to our former youth pastor. It was after the main program of the evening so we asked him what the Jr. High’s did that evening.

He said they talked about purity and abstinence and the importance of saving ourselves for our future spouse. These principles were quite familiar to us, and my friends and I all adhered to them. What was different was what my youth pastor did to help the youth to remember what was taught that evening – he handed out key necklaces. They were just random keys, cut and uncut, on black cords. They were meant to symbolize the key to our heart and that one person alone, our future spouse, had the right and privilege to open up our deep affection. My friends and I kind of felt like we missed out (being in Sr. High now), so we each asked for our own necklace. He happily obliged. We all put on our necklaces.

I don’t know what my friends did with those necklaces or whether they held any significance from that day on, but I know for me mine did. I remember going home and reading through my previous journal entry from Thanksgiving a month earlier:

“Dear Future Husband,

“Hi, how are you? I’m 15 and in grade 10. I was just wondering what you’re like. Have we met yet or are you still ‘down the line’? Where are you right now, how old are you and what are you doing?

“I was just listening to Jaci Velasquez’s song, ‘I Promise’. That is what spurred me to write to you for the first time. I plan on saving myself for you and I pray you are saving yourself for me. I believe that’s the best gift you can give to your spouse.

“It’s Thanksgiving and I wanted to let you know that years before we actually get married, I’m praying for you and I am thanking God for you. I can’t wait until I know who you are and when God’s almighty plan is revealed. I pray that you are, even now, a Christian and you are growing steadily in your Christian walk with God….”

-- and writing in my journal that night:

“Dear Diary,

“Today at Gap, I received a necklace with a key on it – the key to my heart. I plan to wear it as much as possible. I am committed to saving myself sexually for my future husband and this key is a sign of my commitment to that promise.”

I then took the journal up under my chin and laid the key on the page and carefully traced around it.

I would end up wearing that key for the next ten plus years. During those years, I was careful to not lose the necklace and never take it off. It wasn’t a matter of superstition, but of doing my best to invest that key with meaning and intentionality for my future husband. Even when I changed chains I still wore it. When I chose bathing suits, they were high-necked so the necklace wouldn’t come off in the water.

Yes, maybe a little strange, but my hope was my husband would feel loved when I gave it to him when we were married. I wondered if it would all be worth it – if my gift would be valued. I hoped.

Fast forward nine years. Daniel and I were getting to know each other. Daniel told me later that even though it was early in our relationship, he had been forming a strong attachment to me. Sometime during those early months, I told him the story and meaning of my key. When I told him, the emotion that came into his eyes – the hope that the key would be for him, and if it was, the value he gave my gift – was clearly evident.

Over the next year plus of our courtship and engagement, and it became clear that he would be the one who would receive my wedding present, whenever someone would ask about my necklace or when we gave a talk at youth camp that summer and I mentioned it, Daniel would just weep with the joy of knowing he had been valued enough by me for me to spend so much time and thought investing in his gift. It overwhelmed him.

During our engagement, I arranged to have lunch with Daniel and that youth pastor. I thanked him for the opportunity he gave me to show love to Daniel in such a special way, and informed him that I hadn’t taken the necklace off since. He was surprised. He had no idea that little visual aid idea would turn into something so meaningful. Both he and Daniel wept at God’s goodness. Tears filled my own eyes as I was able to encourage a man who helped me grow so much in my walk with God. Daniel so appreciated the chance to thank him personally.

Our wedding day came. After the wonderful celebration, we retreated back to our basement suite in Fort Langley, and by the light of the fireplace I lifted my necklace over my head for the first time, placed it in Daniel’s hand, and covered it over with his fingers. “I’m yours.” He wept with joy and thanked me.

It remained such a special reminder to him that he insisted on putting it under his pillow. When we moved that first year, as soon as we finished making the bed, it was the first thing he put back. Sometimes I would catch him looking at it late at night. And here I had merely hoped that my husband would appreciate it. It’s yet another example of how God exceeded my hopes and expectations in Daniel.

Today, I keep the key necklace in my safe, intertwined with Daniel’s wedding ring, and I thank God for the wonderful memories.