Past, Present, and Future

Today marks six months since Daniel was called home to Heaven. In some ways it doesn’t seem like it could have been that long. In other ways it feels like it’s been far, far longer since I was last with my best friend. These six months have been filled with a lot of reflection, many emotions, and much planning for the future.

The grief of not being with my beloved husband continues to be a daily companion. I say companion because even though the emotional waves are exhausting and just so hard to face each and every day – sometimes several times a day – my grief draws me closer to my Lord. Why? Because I have chosen to inform my grief with God’s truth. I have been immersing myself in Scripture and, thus, the Holy Spirit is changing the way I think and process. And so, every time another wave washes over me I embrace the grief and use it as another opportunity to draw nearer to God, ask Him my questions, praise Him that Daniel is so utterly joyful at that very moment, thank Him for the hope I have in Him too, and ask for the Holy Spirit to comfort me once again. He never fails.

The kids and I talk about daddy every day in little ways here and there. Josiah has taken a cue from me in his prayers and tells God that while he’s sad that daddy isn’t here, he’s so happy that daddy is with Him. Kezia’s face lights up when she sees photos of daddy and she knows it’s him.

We’re planning on moving across town in the next six months or so (part of the planning for the future I’ve been doing), and so I’ve been doing a lot of projects around the house to make the most of my time and investment. But the main reason I have been inventing projects is so I can keep my hands busy while I listen to rich sermons (specifically more John MacArthur). I am endeavouring to make the most of this season to not only accomplish goals by learning new skills and working with my hands, but by using my otherwise mostly empty evenings to get to know Jesus better and the people whom He worked through in Scripture. It has been so enriching.

I did spend several evenings in July as a mentor as a part of the Summer Advanced Leadership Training (SALT) program at Timberline. I was paired with a lovely 16-year-old, and I shared with her my story and she hers. I trust our conversations will help her as she grows into who God has called her to be. I know for me it was wonderful being back at TR and being part of the ministry to which my husband was so deeply devoted.

For those of you who would like to continue to pray for my family and I, first of all, thank you! My requests are that the upcoming transitions would be smooth. I am also starting homeschooling next month – yes, Josiah is entering kindergarten! And that the timing of the sale of my house would match well with moving. I am so thankful for the way God is providing for us and I continue to trust He will in the future. All for His Glory!


I took a few little videos of the kids singing at last night's bedtime. Both songs were popular choices at campfire and a few of daddy's favorites to sing to them.