Accidental pharmacist-caused overdose, repercussions, and moving forward

Last Friday, we had a prescription filled at a new pharmacy. We were referred there from our regular one so the RX could be covered. 

Later in the middle of the night, Daniel woke me up at 3am and I asked him if he was okay. He wasn't clearly answering yes or no, so he then tried to text me on his phone. It took a bit but he finally typed, "Call 911," to which I exclaimed, "What? Why!?!" It was another few very long minutes before he could explain, "So you can sleep." Clearly he was disoriented because that doesn't make any sense. He then realized that too.

Over the next two hours, we were trying to figure out what he was feeling, and had to deal with worsened sleep apnea (not breathing regularly while sleeping), dopiness, and disorientation. Daniel had already had his pain meds adjusted two days prior, so he was already dealing with these kinds of symptoms, and this incident just exacerbated it. 

The pharmacist called me first thing that morning, informing me of his mistake -- he had given Daniel ten times the dose he should have. He had been reviewing his work from the previous day and caught his major mistake. He was very upset with himself, and came over to our house shortly after for two hours that morning trying to figure things out with Daniel. So, once the pharmacist figured out what meds and how much Daniel had taken overall, he then went back to the pharmacy to do the calculations for when to start his med again. It was all very complicated. 

Plus, not only did Daniel have to deal with such debilitating symptoms, but it has been a huge setback in his pain management and ability to eat (as he was throwing up on Sat. morning and the nausea was long-lasting). 

Daniel's GP couldn't be gotten a hold of over the weekend, so I called Sandy, the nurse friend who has been so helpful, and got her advice which confirmed my own thoughts: Daniel didn't need to go to the ER and would fare far better trying to sleep it off at home. 

So, over the next day I had to keep a close eye on him, checking on him while he was sleeping, helping him with more things, and making sure he was thinking clearly enough to take all of his other meds. With all of that and taking care of the kids too, I was an exhausted emotional wreck for much of the day. 

Since then, Daniel has been in a lot more pain as the management levels have been completely out of whack and need to be reestablished. That takes time. 

Our GP called from out of town on Monday to check on him. She agreed with the tack we were on for getting his pain back under control. She also suggested a semi-new idea on how to treat Daniel for his cancer. I say semi-new because it is one she had brought up earlier for pain management but she had since learned more about its anti-cancer potential. A doctor colleague of hers is treating his own cancer with it. Plus, our naturopath mentioned it last week and I had done a bunch of research on it. I had wanted to ask our GP about it but she beat me to it. So that was encouraging that we're all thinking the same thing. We're still in process of getting this treatment set up. 

So, the last several days have just been focused on getting Daniel back on track med-wise and dealing with the symptoms -- not to mention recovery for us both. 

This morning a Home Health nurse came over with our local pain and symptom specialist who had been recommended to us to augment the care our GP has been giving us re: pain management. They'll be working together to help Daniel feel better. The specialist had a few good suggestions, so over the next day or two once we get the meds we'll see how they help. 

Right after that, we had to leave for an appointment at the Cancer Agency in Abby for an appt. with the speech pathologist. While she couldn't help Daniel talk again (only the tumour shrinking will make that happen), she did offer a possible aid for Daniel's fatiguing phlegm problem. While Daniel does have the portable suction machine which helps with the thick mucous his mouth secretes, he's had to use it so much his mouth is getting raw in places. So, the pathologist suggested a mouth spray that helps cut through the phlegm and make it more manageable. 

On top of all of this, we all seem to be getting a cold! One of the visitors we had on Sunday later came down with a 102 degree fever that same evening. So I think that's what we're all fighting now. Kezia has a 102 degree fever and Josiah has a lower one too. Daniel has developed cold sores on his tongue. I'm feeling sick too. 

So, lots to pray for as I'm sure you can glean from the above:

- med adjustments/replacements would be effective and helpful

- new cancer treatment idea would be easily set up and those involved would use godly wisdom to figure out the best specifics for Daniel

- that the treatment would be highly effective and that we would see improvements quickly

- that symptoms would be better managed and reduced

- that we would all be spared more sickness and would return to health soon (I just checked on Kezia and the baby Tylenol I gave her has brought her fever down a few degrees)

- energy and strength for me to continue to serve my family

- and of course, complete healing and restoration for Daniel and that God would be glorified in healing him!!!

During Daniel's crisis over the weekend, it brought on my own emotional crisis. I was feeling very discouraged and inadequate. The previous several days during which I had been doing a lot of research, I was fighting the tendency to feel overwhelmed and not good enough. The world of alternative cancer treatment is insanely vast and I didn't know how to be successful in reaching my goals. That was mainly because I didn't have a realistic grasp on what my goals in this season of trial actually are. 

I had already been ending my research times by reading and thinking about the Psalms. By going to a favourite Psalm and mulling it over more, it was very helpful to focus on the truth of God's Word. It helped me gain perspective on all of the opinions, anecdotes, promises, and outright lies I had just been reading in my research. Going back to the truth of the Bible at those times and many others is comforting and helps me evaluate the validity of what I just researched. It reminds me that my hope isn't in knowledge, a treatment, or man's wisdom, but in the God Who created the universe. That is Whose words we get to read in the Bible -- what a precious and abundant gift!

Even so, I was still battling a deep discouragement that I wasn't doing enough or trying enough alternatives, and doubts whether I would be called "faithful" at the end of this trial. The few people I've mentioned this to have been incredulous that I would feel that way, but I did. My feelings were that I was doing all this work on multiple levels and Daniel still wasn't getting better. 

Did you catch the lie? I had to. Daniel helped me see it on Saturday evening. My goal isn't to make Daniel better. That is a responsibility and burden I was taking on that not only is unrealistic but is also trying to take control of what only God has control over. 

So, I asked Daniel to help me come up with attainable goals, delineating the actual responsibilities I do have: 

- reading the Bible

- prayer and reflecting on Who God is

- taking care of the kids (Josiah just came down asking to "snuggle lots")

- doing my part to care for Daniel

- run the house 

- research for appointments

This last one I asked him for clarification on. We decided that for the next week, I would only research enough to ask intelligent questions at our appointments and to help make informed decisions. I realized my tendency was to strive to figure out the next solution and it was causing me a lot of stress. That is why this new treatment idea is a blessing because several avenues are suggesting or advocating it and it's not just me grasping in the dark. 

After this helpful "conversation" with Daniel, I had asked Sandy to come over. So, we had a much needed chat and she encouraged me and assured me that I was going above and beyond already, regardless of how I was feeling. She also told me about some things God is doing in people's lives through our circumstance. Daniel and I both found that encouraging. 

So, your own stories of God working and messages of encouragement have been and would continue to be so very helpful. Please send them along to us as you think of them. Thank you, and thank you for continuing to faithfully lift us up in prayer.