More reality

As I was just finishing putting the kids down for their naps this afternoon, Daniel texted me mentioning that he just found out the oncologist was coming to see him later on. I asked Daniel if he knew why and if he wanted me to get the kids looked after and come, but I didn’t get an answer. So, I decided that I needed to be there, what with him being so out of it from his G tube procedure this morning. I called Leanne Cody, who was only too happy to help out and made it work (thank you, again!). I then called the nurse and she said the doctor was coming at 3pm – a little over an hour away. I also asked her to check on Daniel and he was “snoring logs.” So, a half hour later I was on my way.

 

The oncologist was late anyways, so I ended up having plenty of time. It was so great to spend that one on one time with Daniel. We both needed that. The last few times I’ve visited it’s been with the kids, which is just a different dynamic (and a lot more work for me!).

 

After a stroll up and down the halls, we got back to Daniel’s room and met the medical oncologist, Dr. Uhlman. It sounds like she’ll be our main doctor at this point.

 

She started off by telling us about the PET scan results. The cancer has metastasized into Daniel’s lungs, where there seems to be 5-10 nodules, in addition to the lymph nodes in his neck which we already knew about. We had been warned that if this was the case (stage four of four stages), that the treatment would be a whole different ballgame. So, radiation is out for now, as Dr. Uhlman wants to treat Daniel just with chemo to try and shrink the cancer in its various locations. As we go along, she’ll reassess and let us know. It all depends on how Daniel reacts to the drugs and how the cancer responds too.

 

Dr. Uhlman gave us lots of information and I had a ready list of questions to help me think. Still, it was a whole lot to take in, as she acknowledged. Dr. Uhlman will meet with us again tomorrow once we’ve had a little more time to process and come up with more questions. She hopes to start as soon as Daniel’s G tube is “settled in” and once she figures out with the head nurse whether Daniel can get the first dose where he is or if he needs to go down to the Cancer Agency itself (staffing levels limitations, etc.). Perhaps Friday or Monday. And depending on how Daniel does, he may be able to come home a day or two after he gets the chemo – lots of variables though.

 

Dr. Uhlman’s initial plan is six rounds of chemo, reassessing every three weeks or so. Doing the math, that’s five to six months of treatment ahead of us. She may bring in another chemo drug and/or radiation depending on how things go. So, we’re still going to do the pre-radiation dental check next week so that Daniel is ready should he need it.

 

Barring any new symptoms or complications, the idea is that Daniel would be home in between chemo doses. It is highly recommended to resume as much of normal daily life and activity as possible. This doesn’t mean working, however. He won’t have the energy for that. Dr. Uhlman recommended I apply for the CPP part of EI – in other words, this will be a long road.

 

At this point I asked her outright – are we looking at possibly curing this or…? She said the best case scenario is to treat the cancer as well as possible for as long as possible. I figured that’s what “a whole new ballgame” meant when we were warned last week by Dr. Lester of the possibility.

 

So, those are the hard facts. I’ve been trying to process this since we learned all of this. Before I had to go back home, Daniel and I spent a good long time holding each other, talking, praying…. He reminded me that, again, none of this is a surprise to God. And I have to once again work to remind myself of all the truths I know from God’s Word:

 

God is in control.

He doesn’t make mistakes.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

He is our Refuge and Strong Tower.

We have absolutely no reason to fear.

God is the Redeemer, even of very hard situations.

God has a perfect track record of faithfulness.

He is the Great Comforter.

He is the Great Healer.

 

…and so many more truths.

 

And still my emotions are a tumult right now. I feel battered and bruised because my faith is being tested and stretched so much. I want my kids to have a dad. They need him. I do too. God has given Daniel such a unique, special ministry at Timberline. And so, I have to keep placing my hope in God that He has something planned that will amaze us all. And all of your continued, persistent prayers play a huge part in that. Please remain faithful. Please continue to participate with us to watch and see what the Lord will do (and already is doing). Thank you from the bottom of my heart.